We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
