Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
