He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
