No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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