U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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