Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
