Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
