no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
