you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize