areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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