At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
