@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
