I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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