so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
