i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
