my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
