Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
