She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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