I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
