i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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