I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
