my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
