ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
