will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
