I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
