Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
