That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
