I just saw a hot homeless man
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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