i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
