I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
