im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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