i think my tv is drunk
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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