I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
