i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
