Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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