He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize