So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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