It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
