I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
