i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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