Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
