He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
