he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
