he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
