my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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