is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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