I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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