Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
