please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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