That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize