WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
