I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
