im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
