I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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