similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
