I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
