Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
