office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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