Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
