In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
