kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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