it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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