Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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