But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
